So tomorrow is my birthday and I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t think it’s really a big deal since I’m already an adult but I’m just reflecting about my relationship with that “special day”.
I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with my birthday. I like the idea of celebrating time passing by and basically life and also spending that day with loved one but every single year, undoubtedly, I end up disappointed and often hurted.
It’s a silly thing really but I feel like I can see how little I mean to a lot of people on that day. Either because they don’t seem to know or don’t care that it’s my birthday or because they act poorly towards me. My birthday has an history of being forgotten and even if It shouldn’t be the case … that makes me feel like I don’t matter. And when it’s not forgotten it’s often ruined by others (or even myself).
And I know, lovely person, maybe you think I just want gifts but I can assure you it’s not the case. I mean I do want them but you can give me a drawing or a card and I will be happy. Really. It’s a bit weird but I just want to feel like I matter for my friends.
So… this was kind of a bummer right ? But don’t worry lovely person ! I have a nice and sweet little anecdote and it’s more cheerful. I thought I’d share it with you because….why not ?
When I first started going out with my boyfriend we decided to go to the restaurant for my birthday. I was really sad that day (as usual on my birthday) because my childhood best friend forgot about it just as my brothers did. Right before going to the restaurant I realized my boyfriend did not book a table for us. I got mad because to me it meant that he didn’t care about it when really he is just the kind of person who’s pretty carefree anyway and doesn’t worry about booking because he think we should just go and see if they can seat us and if they can’t we should just go somewhere else. ANYWAY, I started crying because it was like he also forgot about my birthday. (Yes it’s really silly) So to make it up to me he decided to take me shopping the next day.
He said it was my day and really made it all about me. He picked me up in the morning and gave me a pink donut as breakfast (we use to joke that he’ll propose to me with a pink donut) and then we went shopping and I already thought it was perfect. But all throughout the day he kept disappearing, making excuse like he had to go to the bathroom. Little did I know that every time he would see me looking at something he would run back to the store and buy it from me. At the end of the day we went back to my home and he gave me everything he had bought for me. It was really to much and I kind a felt uncomfortable getting so many gifts but it was all so thoughtful that to this day it is still the best birthday memory I have.
I guess I’m done talking about my birthday… I feel a bit egocentric right now. But I just wanted to rant for a while and share my thoughts with you. I wish you a very happy birthday, no matter when it is, and I hope you enjoyed this article!